Elaboration: adding more detail to what has already been said.
So! You've written an amazing idea. Is it finished? Probably not. What do you do? Try these strategies.
1. Ask questions.
1a. While Writing
While writing, ask yourself questions about what you have written to be sure you include the details the reader needs to create a mind movie to understand what you want them to know.
Here's an example:
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Paragraph
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Questions
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Comment |
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What makes a good pet.
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A doberman makes a good pet.
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Why does a doberman make a good pet?
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A frank topic sentence without because. The second sentence explains the first idea about the topic sentence. |
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A doberman makes a good pet because it guards you, your house, and your family.
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What is a doberman?
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Example of "Rule of Three." He provide three examples: you, your house, your family. |
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A doberman is a dog that has black hair with brown spots over it's eyes. It has pointy ears.
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What does a doberman do to guard your house and family?
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Adds a description and continues the topic of guarding. |
| A doberman can bark and scare people. They will bite people hard on the butt, and those people won't come back again. |
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| My doberman is a good guard pet. |
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Concluding Sentence |
2010 Practice Links
W5 Nice Friends shee
w5 nice friends ania
W5 Nice Friends rista
W5 nice friends Quill
W5 Nice Friends kimy
W5 nice friends loudy
W5 nice friends rocke71
w5 nice friends jane
w5 nice friends tiger
w5 ryal nice
w5 sager nice
w5 vinick nice
w5 nice freinds rater
Here are two other examples from fifth grade:
questionstrategy.mov
question2.mov
1b. After Writing
After writing, re-read your work as if you don't know anything about it. Pretend you are a reader. Ask questions about what is missing or confusing. Ask questions about the words used -- are they precise enough.
2. Precise Words
While you write and ask yourself questions and again any time you re-read your writing, search for words that could be more specific, engaging, and descriptive. The most powerful words include nouns and verbs.
Here's an example:
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Paragraph
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Nouns
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Verbs
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Comment |
| The batter aimed at the pitcher. |
batter, pitcher
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aimed
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Then BAM! the batter hit the ball.
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batter, ball
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hit
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bam -- onomatopoeia
alliteration -- b
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| The catcher caught the ball. That was an out. |
catcher, out |
caught |
alliteration -- c |
| The next batter put on his helmet. |
helmet |
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| The ball flew like a bullet across the field. |
bullet, field |
flew |
simile -- like a bullet across the field
alliteration -- f
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| It was a home run. |
home run |
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| The team screamed in excitement. |
team |
screamed |
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6W
Here's another paragraph from 6W:
Slam Miss
I aim with my hand to slam-dunk the ball. I jump five feet in the air and dunked from half court. I sprinted down the middle and tripped, jumped up, and sprinted to the hoop to dunk it. When I first dunked, I missed.
5W
Another strong verb paragraph from 5W:
High Hitter
Barry prepares for his turn at bat for the Red Sox. He trudges out of the dugout and waves at the crowd. The crowd cheers. “Yay!” The opposing team boos. “Booo!” He swings his bat in the air as if hitting the ball. He practices three times imagining he hits three home runs. Three players stand on the field at each base. He steps up to the plate and knocks the dust off his shoes with the bat. The pitcher throws a fast ball. Crack! Barry busts the ball and the bat breaks. All players sprinted home with long strides. Barry slides as the umpire yells, “Safe!” The game is won.
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